Bluemoonalto @ 17 Jan 2008 04:17 pm wrote: Docarrol, do you want to write or are you happier just helping with the brainstorming? I am quite honored that you'd ask, however I think I'd better stick to just brainstorming. My writing just isn't up to the high standards set hereabouts (especially dialog - pesky need to sound like people).
In the mean time, a few more thoughts, expansions, and alternatives for the stuff on the outline (just say 'when')...
Standard outline template wrote: Scene 4 Danny discovers that he’s invisible as he doesn’t see himself in the bathroom mirror. ::sniggers:: I still can't get the idea of him brushing his teeth while in visible - just this mass of toothpaste and suds floating in mid-air above an empty set of pajama/sleepwear. Still, it's better than working the invisibility into another round of toilet humor. Although with selective intangibility you might...No, no. On second thought, I'd much rather avoid that one too. (Eeeww. Bad brain)
Um, or we could see Danny invisible, and have someone else rush in without noticing he's there. A very awkward moment, compounded by embarrassment and the need to escape. Normally, I'd say the most likely candidate would probably be Jazz (rushing in for her morning shower if it's in the morning while Danny's brushing his teeth), on the assumption that the parents have their own master-bathroom. But since this is Nick and DP is a children's show having a mixed gender gag like that might not fly. On the other hand, they did show or strongly imply Danny peeped on the girls' locker room, so I guess it would be okay. (Did they show a rush-for-the-bathroom sibling rivalry moment on the show? Danny pounding on the door, accusing Jazz of taking too long? That sounds familiar, a classic family comedy/sitcom shtick, but I can't remember which episode or if it actually happened.)
Quote: Scene 5 Maddie and Jack fend off angry neighbors who just read about the Portal in the morning newspaper. Apparently there have already been some minor ghost problems. I'm put in mind of that quick cut sequence of short-short images from Phantom Planet with Masters' Blasters facing down those really minor, no-name ghosts in various "naughty" behaviors. Only instead of stuff like having a craps game in a back alley, the ghosts would be doing monster under the bed gag, spook the dog/cat at nothing, steal left-socks from the laundry, etc. Pranks. Maybe some minor vandalism, cracked windows, dumped garbage cans. Etc. We know it was really the ghosts, and the Fentons would assume such and assert it loudly, but the victims would be making baseless accusations on a scape goat, and the Fentons would look like such crackpots that there'd be a good chance of it sticking.
At least until the matter is looked into and the ADA or duty officer or whomever realizes just how (seemingly) baseless the initial accusations are (After all, they didn't see the ghosts doing it, or the Fentons, and could produce no reasonable method or motive, no matter how loudly the Fentons blame the ghosts. But that does help set up their initial crackpot reputation. Especially if the press gets wind of it, after the public flop of the Portal.)
Anyway, thats the set up for the resolution of this particular B plot (c plot?) problem in ActII/Scene 6+: Summary dismissal of all charges. Which gets them off the hook but probably doesn't endear them to the neighbors or the neighbors' kids at Casper High.
Quote: Scenes 6 Danny, Sam and Tucker see a ghost for the very first time. Well, their first after Danny  Actually, that ghost weasel Goku-San posted in the Artist try-out thread is just to awesome/cute not to see some official use. Or maybe those Siamese fighting fish slifer had?
Actually, I wouldn't be adverse to seeing Box Ghost in this roll, but it seemed like they were seeing him for the first time in "One of a Kind".
Hm, a quick "Okay I've caught it, now what? Oh right, I should wrangle it all the way back to FentonWorks, down to the basement, and toss it back through the Portal" moment might be amusing. Although before the Thermos, that kind of disposal probably wouldn't work - whatever or whom ever Danny fought would probably just escape to weak havoc again another day.
Come to think of it, this is before Danny realizes his new roll in life to guard the city from ghost attacks. So unless he's directly attacked, or sees someone about to get hurt, like Sam or Tucker, or something, he probably wouldn't think to get involved - more like hide from the freaky thing. So maybe Blue's phrasing (they see a ghost) is literal and describes the full extent of the interaction?
Danny's ghost sense goes off, they collectively go WTF? quickly followed by a glowing, freaky, ghost/monster thing go running/flying past, (possibly phasing through walls or out of the ground, maybe exhibiting some other ghostly power) causing them all to duck and hide and watch it go (Maybe Danny instinctively transforms for the first time in reaction to the threat?). After all, Danny hasn't figured out his durability and strength yet, and without a direct threat, his Heroic Side wouldn't necessarily jump to the fore.
Quote: Scene 7 But this otherwise unassigned Scene 7 seems like an excellent place to stick a useful learning experience. Presumably later, after they've had a chance to assimilate the experience, figure out what it means when Danny sees his breath on a warm day, and the inference from his accidental displays of powers that the accident had some lingering affect, and from there going on to egging Danny on to see what else he can do, or if he can do it on purpose.
Maybe something along the lines of
See ghost, see ghost threaten bodily harm
"Danny you've gotta do something!" "Me?! Why me?" "'Cause you're a ghost, too. Or half-ghost or whatever." "Just go!"
Or use that in Scene 6 when they first see a ghost, or even save it for one of the climax action sequences in Act II, like in Scene 8. Although if Danny thwarts a ghost doing something else now, that would explain why Danny gets attacked and thrown around in Scene 8.
...
And I'm going to call it a night there, as it's getting late here. I'll think about Act II some more later.
docarrol |
It's the episodes that lack a "B" plot that usually get described as "rushed," because it's the cutting back and forth between two plots that gives an episode depth and texture. Think about Maternal Instincts, which, despite all the exciting and dramatic things that happened to Maddie and Danny in Colorado, had plenty of time to tell the mirror-image "B" plot about Jack and Jazz fighting Vlad's creatures at home. Or One of a Kind, in which the ghost became a slave to the science project, and then the science project saved the day. And that episode even had a "C" plot involving Maddie's magazine article!
He's not very strong, just really annoying 'cause he chews on people's legs and claws their faces. But it would be one humiliating defeat. (Just as bad as the hamster suggestion. The mental image involving that one is just amusing..XD)
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Taking things in order: